he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
