hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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