Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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