don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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