Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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