I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
