"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
