is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
