Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize