I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
