Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
