Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i think i just lost a toe
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
