ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
