my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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