No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
