this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
