we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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