cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
