there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
