Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
