:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
