sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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