he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
