That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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