I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
false alarm. still invincible.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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