Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize