Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
