And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
