All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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