We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
