I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
