so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
