So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
