I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
