Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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