Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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