He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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