My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i believe in u and ur pee
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