Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
