I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
