they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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