my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize