So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
