he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
