He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There r osticjed everywhere
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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