Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
