you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
