Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize