Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
