I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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