Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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