I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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