I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize