Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
