my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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