...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
