She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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