This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
tell me about the fingering
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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