My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize