If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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