i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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