I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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