Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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