My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
