tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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