the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
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I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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